thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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