If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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