we have pet lesbian snakes
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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