Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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