but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
