don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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