dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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