I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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