I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
