i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
