I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
