Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
