Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
