Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
