That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
