I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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