you guys were way drunker than both of me
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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