you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
did i just pee glitter
I have post one night stand depression
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
