YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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