when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
