yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
