im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
