Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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