she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
