Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
