see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
