I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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