Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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