Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
