I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Randomize
