she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
and she was petting her beer can
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
