Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
