I bet he comes in French.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
