Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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