hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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