Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
