So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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