I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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