STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
