So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
