i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we made out on top of his cat.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
