so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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