i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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