The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
