i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
