i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
