It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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