I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
