Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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