but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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